If not why do I remain

Is dark my natural habitat

Could I live without the pain

"You have so much to live for" "you have so much to give"

"Life is what you make it" "just get a grip"

Suddenly everyones a doctor

Telling me what i've got to, what i've not to 

Their concern no consolation

Though I appreciate they try

The only thought running through my mind

"Fuck off and let me die"

My brute creates the darkest thoughts

That turn to tangible desires

The more I try resist him

The less he seems to tire

How do I escape him

Why does he always harass 

How do I free my mind

And prevent his trespass

If only i could control him

I'd live every day so dearly

Turn his malevolence to compassion

And I'd gladly keep him near me

But for now I live his lies, anxiety, guilt and frustration

Praying for a GOD who can end the rumination